<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Baby Mine by snwuenthusiast</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540559">Baby Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snwuenthusiast/pseuds/snwuenthusiast'>snwuenthusiast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Love You Baby! [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Familial Love, Fantasy, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Magic, No Romance, Platonic Relationships, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soonyoung is Jeonghan's baby, Soulmates, i changed the tags like 5 times hopefully it's the last</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:14:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snwuenthusiast/pseuds/snwuenthusiast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Storge (/ˈstɔːrɡi/, from the Ancient Greek word στοργή storgē): familial love refers to natural or instinctual affection, such as the love parents have for their children</p><p>Jeonghan just wants a companion as he waits listelessly for the end of the world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi &amp; Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Yoon Jeonghan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Love You Baby! [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In Loving Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a part of my I Love You Baby! series, but you don't have to read the main story to understand this (although it would probably help)!</p><p>it might be a little confusing at first, but it makes sense later i promise</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jeonghan dreams.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>“You live in my dreams, you’re beautiful.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Lilili Yabbay (13월의 춤) by Seventeen </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan sniffles and bites his lip, silent tears rolling down his face. It’s a beautiful, sunny day, and a slight breeze greets the trees. </p><p>He’s alone on a hill, surrounded by waving grass, a small house in the distance. Before him is a small stone accompanied by a bouquet of flowers. It reads, <em> ‘In loving memory’</em>, but there is no name to be found.</p><p>He takes a lingering look before turning away in the direction of the distant house, taking slow steps down the hill as the wind brushes through his hair and clothes, whispering that unwritten name.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan wakes up at his desk, surrounded by paper and bottles.</p><p>He groans and stretches, pushing his chair back before getting up and turning towards the huge tube behind him. It contains liquid mana, and a small, curled up, lump of flesh.</p><p>Upon closer look, one could tell it is a fetus, and that it had no place in a magician’s study. Jeonghan approaches it and bends down, putting his hand on the glass. There’s so many things to say, but he refrains.</p><p>He drops his hand and slowly exits, floor creaking as his feet guide him to his room.</p><p>It’s cold and lacking in color, illuminated only by slivers of moonlight peeking through the windows. Jeonghan flops onto the bed face down, breathing in and out deeply, until he slips into a dream.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jeonghan sits up in the middle of an ocean of gold. The blue sky overhead holds patches of white fluff, and the sun envelops him in its comfortable glow. A quiet wind rolls by and ruffles the field, the tall wheat glistening in the light.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This is...</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hello Jeonghan.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He whips his head around, looking for the owner of that voice, and sees a figure standing from afar, smiling softly. Jeonghan feels tears prick his eyes, and he shoots up, running over to the man.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He stumbles a bit and crashes into him, the warmth from his body instantly filling his heart with the feeling it’s been missing.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Soonyoung…” Jeonghan holds him, one arm hugging his waist, his other hand cradling the back of his neck to pull him as close as possible.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The other returns the affection in earnest, wrapping his arms around him and snuggling in. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He plants a kiss on his cheek, then his ear, and inhales, allowing the scent of Soonyoung to fill his senses. To receive all of him at once, the person he’s been missing for so long, is too much, and tears spill over. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, Soonyoung…” he repeats the name and sobs into the soft skin of his neck, sniffling and hiccuping. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hi Hannie.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jeonghan can hear the smile in his voice, so easy, so gentle. He pulls away to admire him, keeping his hands where they are.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I missed you,” Soonyoung says, his eyes glossy as they stare into Jeonghan’s. The older smiles, but then it falters. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How are you here?” he asks, confusion replacing his elation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m wherever you are, as cheesy as that sounds.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But…how can I see you?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re dreaming, remember?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “...I see.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Soonyoung smiles ruefully.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry,” he says.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jeonghan simply pulls him close again and nuzzles his face into his shoulder, relishing in his warmth, his smell, the way he feels in his arms. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s okay, my love.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They stay curled around one another, basking in the sunlight as the wind brushes their hair and clothes and the grass around them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Jeonghan,” Soonyoung calls. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hm?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t do this.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jeonghan keeps his eyes closed and his face tucked into his shoulder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t do what?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You know what.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "..." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Jeonghan." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "...It’s so unfair,” he whispers shakily.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At this, Soonyoung holds him a little tighter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I know. I’m sorry.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t be.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But once you do this, there’s no going back.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I know,” Jeonghan says, furrowing his eyebrows. </em>
</p><p><em> “</em><em>But I can’t stand it anymore. I feel so alone, Soonie, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life hating myself if I don't at least try. I know there’ll be consequences, but I have to </em> try<em>.” </em></p><p>
  <em> Soonyoung says nothing at this, just hums.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They stay like that for as long as they can, in each other’s arms, and murmur sweet-nothings to each other, before the world falls away and the warmth disappears. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan wakes up, sunlight streaming into the room, and suddenly, Soonyoung’s scent seeps into his senses.</p><p> </p><p>He covers his eyes as he cries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Twilight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jeonghan creates.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “I know it’s not allowed, but I try to turn back time. I lean on one side of the room and call your name, but only your forgotten voice comes back.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> -Say Yes by Seventeen </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s twilight by the time he leaves the house.</p>
<p>He doesn’t go far, just steps into the field beyond the front door. The shower has just started, thousands of stars reaching for the Earth. An especially bright one streaks across the sky, and he can tell it’s falling towards him.</p>
<p>Jeonghan lifts his hands to catch it as the celestial being descends. It lands gently in his hand, like a petal, and, for all its intensity, it’s actually rather small. It flutters around in his palms, dancing across them before it starts to fade. </p>
<p>He snaps out of his trance and heads inside the house, leaving the curtain of night being pulled down behind him.</p>
<p>Jeonghan glides through the house and into his study, where the giant tube awaits.</p>
<p>The fetus is now a fully grown baby, perhaps a bit too big, but he had to make sure it was entirely healthy.</p>
<p>He stops in front of the glass, and lifts his hands, the star floating between them. Then he guides it through the tube, and watches in awe as it gravitates towards the body. It slowly enters, sinking into where the heart should be, before it pushes its way deep into the chest.</p>
<p>The spot it enters in suddenly glows, a kaleidoscope of colors lighting up the room, and Jeonghan has to shield his eyes from the immense energy. Waves of mana are pushing through the room, rustling his clothes and throwing up clouds of paper and dust in its wake.</p>
<p>Then, it starts to fade, until all that’s left is a slight glow. Jeonghan quickly opens the hatch and pulls the baby out, knowing it would probably wake up soon.</p>
<p>Just as he predicted, the baby begins breathing, small huffs at first, until it starts to wail. Like, really loud.</p>
<p>“Healthy lungs, I suppose that’s a good thing,” Jeonghan says, wincing a little as the shrieks crescendo in volume.</p>
<p>He hugs it close as he makes his way to a blanket on his desk. Swaddling the baby the best he can, he holds it, one arm under the body and his hand cradling his neck, and he gets a faint sense of <em> deja vu</em>. The baby slowly quiets itself, dozing off in Jeonghan’s embrace. </p>
<p>Unknowingly, he gives it a fond look and smiles, rocking it in his arms until it completely falls asleep. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Welcome home, Soonyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ah so now we finally know what Soonyoung is and where he came from!</p>
<p>did you guys have any theories??</p>
<p>i just realized i'm probably going to write a backstory for this backstory lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jeonghan regrets.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m the place you can come to, you’re the place I can go to.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Home by Seventeen </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Raising a child is not at <em> all </em> the fun he’d imagined. Soonyoung is constantly crying, hungry, and worst of all, a poop machine. </p><p>One time, Jeonghan had taken off his diaper for a bath, then turned around for one second, one <em> goddamn </em> second, and he disappeared. He frantically searches, tearing up the place and calling out to the baby, until he found him crawling out from behind the couch, looking slightly guilty but mostly satisfied.</p><p>Jeonghan narrows his eyes suspiciously before checking the space behind it.</p><p>Lo and behold, a large, stinky log of poop sits on his carpet. He sighs, then turns around to face Soonyoung, who claps and giggles.</p><p><em> Ah, </em> he can almost hear his lover say, <em> he’s as mischievous as you. </em></p><p>That night, Jeonghan reads on their couch, Soonyoung in his arms and resting on his chest, slowly falling asleep as he lovingly strokes his back.</p><p> </p><p>Soon, he can hear the baby’s soft breaths slow as he relaxes more and more into him, molding to the curve of his body, and feels himself get sleepy off Soonyoung’s warmth, a full feeling in his heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>One-year-old Soonyoung is much more pleasant.</p><p>He’s a very happy baby with silver tufts of hair, always following Jeonghan around as best he can, and rarely cries without a reason. Anything he does elicits a giggle, and he finally feels that he is actually doing a decent job. Best of all, he isn’t a picky eater, and eats anything put in front of him, even if it tastes horrible.</p><p>Jeonghan, however, makes the mistake of trying to teach him the basics of magic. Soonyoung is smart, he knew that for sure, after he learned how to open doors by merely watching him do it, but has too much mana, too little control.</p><p>The first few times he tried to open a door, the handle got blown off. So Jeonghan tries teaching him early so he could get the hang of it. He made the very poor choice of teaching Soonyoung a floating spell, which results in him not being able to find various materials around the house, as well as the baby himself whenever it’s bath time. As irritating as this is, he can’t help but think about it fondly, because this is when Soonyoung says his first word.</p><p>
  <em> “Soonyoung! Bath time!” Jeonghan calls out to the baby. He could hear cooing, but the source of it was nowhere in sight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He looks around, knowing Soonyoung is somewhere around the house. He stops in the middle of the room, clearly perplexed, until he feels something wet on his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What in the…” He says and steps aside, then looks up. There his baby is, drooling and smiling while floating along the ceiling.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh my- Soonyoung, what are you doing?!” He shrieks, worried about the distance between him and the floor, and stretches out to grab him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Luckily he's within reach, allowing Jeonghan to nab him and pull him close, breathing in and out to calm himself down, before holding the baby at arms length and scrunching his face into a scowl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Soonyoung! Don’t do that anymore!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But as always, the baby giggles in delight, and wriggles his legs around, clearly pleased by the stress he’s causing his father. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then, to his utter surprise, Soonyoung gurgles out, “Appa!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And all he can do is melt, bringing the baby’s stomach to his lips and blowing a loud raspberry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Soonyoung’s shrieks of laughter fill the room, and Jeonghan starts laughing too, bouncing him in his arms as he dances across the floor, the happiest he’s been in a very long time. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan thought he managed to put the stressful years of child rearing behind him, but as it turns out, they had only just begun.</p><p><em> The terrible twos</em>.</p><p>This is the year Soonyoung really becomes aware of things, and being the smart baby he is, can speak pretty well.</p><p>“Appa! Appa!” he calls, and Jeonghan hurries over, concerned, only to find he wants to make balls of mud and hurl them at each other. He indulges him for the most part (at the expense of some of his favorite clothes), but Soonyoung is always beaming and laughing by the end, so he couldn’t <em> really </em>complain. </p><p>However, Soonyoung begins to call Jeonghan like that all the time, with an urgency in his voice, and he quickly learns this is becoming a bad habit. He scolds the child, tells a harrowing story of a boy who had done the same thing and got eaten by a wolf in the end.</p><p>Soonyoung cries and cries after hearing it, promising to be good so he won’t be eaten by <em>"</em><em>Wolf-Ssi" </em>(Jeonghan tried his best not to laugh) going as far as to pinky promise, which is a big thing for the toddler.</p><p>They then play well into the afternoon, running around in the grass outside, picking flowers and making crowns until Soonyoung falls asleep under the setting sun.</p><p>A breeze from the lake makes its way over, and he can hear it whisper in the voice of his beloved; <em>y</em><em>ou’re doing wonderful. </em></p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan really hopes he is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was at three years old they discover the painful side effect of having a star for a heart.</p><p>Soonyoung has always run warm, but some days he’s <em> boiling hot. </em></p><p>It’s rough, for both of them, because when Soonyoung sobs in pain, Jeonghan can do nothing but hold him and try his best to soothe him.</p><p> </p><p>It is during these times that Jeonghan feels especially guilty, because the boy will have to endure this his entire life, and it was all his fault. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was the age of four that they discover Soonyoung’s strange affinity with nature. </p><p>
  <em> It was a warm spring day, so Jeonghan set up a small lunch for them by the lake. Soonyoung had climbed up the tree next to him, but he wasn’t particularly worried because it was pretty short, and if he fell, well, lesson learned. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he hadn’t realized that its branches hung over the water, and the toddler found his way over there.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jeonghan is laying on the blanket when he hears the splash. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Quickly sitting up, he calls out, “Soonyoung?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When he receives no answer, he gets up, and goes to the small dock on the lake. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Soonyoung!” he shouts, more frantically now, and scans the water. There was no sign of the boy, and at this point, he’s kind of panicking. Before he can yell again, something bursts out of the water and leaps over him. All Jeonghan catches is a glimpse of hair and a shriek of joy before it goes under again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He crouches at the edge of the dock, holding the side while screaming. “What are you doing? Are you being eaten?! HOLD ON BABY I’M COMING!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before he can dunk himself into the lake, Soonyoung appears again, on the back of a kelpie, a ferocious horse-like creature of the water infamously known for luring people into their domains before killing them. </em>
</p><p><em> He’s stunned, because not only is the kelpie </em> not <em> killing them, it’s letting Soonyoung ride on its back. </em></p><p>
  <em> It approaches the dock and lets its passenger slide off, only returning to the lake when it’s sure Soonyoung is secure. Jeonghan brings him close even though he’s soaking, and strokes his head in disbelief. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “...Soonyoung, you’re okay right?” He brushes the sopping wet hair out of his face, checking for injuries, and Soonyoung just nods his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yep! The nice girls in the lake helped me!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “…Girls?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, the girls with the pretty sca-Oh look! There they are!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He looks over the edge of the dock, but reels back when he finds dozens of fish waiting there. Soonyoung approaches them without fear, and Jeonghan reaches out to pull him back, but then the toddler crouches down and wiggles his fingers in the water. </em>
</p><p><em> He watches in awe as they kiss his fingertips and jump around in delight. Soonyoung giggles and begins to pet them, and all he can think is, </em> the fuck<em>? </em></p><p>After the incident, he finds it happens often. Whenever they go hiking in the forest, deers will approach and bow their heads to Soonyoung, who pets and scratches them in all the right places. Nymphs offer him the tastiest berries, and mice show him where to find the biggest mushrooms and best herbs.</p><p>He watches Soonyoung play with some faeries, running after them as they flutter around him. It's somewhat familiar, and Jeonghan smiles softly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just like your namesake.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He feels something unpleasant stir inside of him after Soonyoung’s fifth birthday, when he is asked, “Appa, why aren’t my eyes like yours?” </p><p>It's nighttime, and they're sitting on the couch, Jeonghan reading to him as Soonyoung listens. Or at least, he thought he was.</p><p>The questions startles him, and he switches his focus from the book to the boy.</p><p>Suddenly, his son's cute, chubby face resembles his long dead lover a little too much. </p><p>Jeonghan is then able to place the feeling; the immense churning of guilt disrupting his stomach. </p><p>So, he rushes to the bathroom and promptly throws up his dinner.</p><p>Gasping, he lets the burning sensation of vomit and remorse run through his body, before wiping his mouth and rinsing out the taste with water from the sink.</p><p>He locks the door and sinks down against the wall, covering his eyes as he cries. He thinks about Soonyoung, the <em> original </em> Soonyoung, and how he’s desecrated his memory by using him to create <em> this </em>Soonyoung, baby Soonyoung, who’s knocking on the door and asking what’s wrong.</p><p>All of a sudden, he feels sick again, and heaves out more. </p><p>He ignores his child, focusing on the coolness of the floor and the toilet bowl, and closes his eyes in shame.</p><p>How could he have been so foolish?</p><p>How could he do that to Soonyoung? Use his flesh to bring another life into the world, to let it suffer from its taboo nature? A celestial and mortal being aren’t meant to mix at all, let alone in the way Jeonghan has connected them. </p><p>Then he thinks about his baby, still so young and innocent to his twisted past, brought into the world by someone so <em>stupid. </em>He has to suffer all his life because of something he can't control, and it makes him cry even harder.</p><p> </p><p>He can hear Soonyoung on the other side of the door, begging for his <em> Appa </em> to let him in, but all Jeonghan can do is weep into his hands, disgusted by his selfish wish.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he finally leaves the bathroom, he finds Soonyoung, sweet Soonyoung, asleep, slumped against the wall. Jeonghan crouches in front of him, and wipes the tears in his <em> 10:10 </em> eyes away.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, because it’s all he can say.</p><p>He lifts the boy gently, holding his small body to his front with one arm and cradling his neck in the other. His bedroom is only a few doors away, so he goes there first, entering and placing Soonyoung on the bed, before rushing to his study and walking towards the desk.</p><p>Wrenching one of the drawers open, he sorts through the papers, shoving them aside until he finds the collection of gem charms he has hidden underneath.</p><p>He picks out a rose-quartz one for safety, a serenity blue one for luck, and a spool of leather cord.</p><p>He clutches them tightly, then runs back down to Soonyoung, who is still sleeping soundly. Jeonghan ties the cord securely around one gem, then the other, before gently placing both around Soonyoung’s neck. </p><p>He picks him up, and he stirs in his sleep before relaxing again. Jeonghan makes his way to the door and grabs their coats as he steps out into the cool night air. He drapes Soonyoung’s over his back and carries his own, heading briskly toward the nearest train station.</p><p>He enters and is relieved by the lack of people, stepping onto a train as discreetly as possible. Jeonghan hugs his child a little tighter, because he knows this is the last time they’ll be together. Then, gently, he places Soonyoung down on one of the seats, making sure his jacket is secure and giving him a teary kiss on the forehead.</p><p>“Goodbye son,” he says shakily, before weakly waving his hand over him, invoking a spell.</p><p> </p><p>A spell to forget. </p><p> </p><p>Because Soonyoung deserves to live with someone who doesn’t feel sick when he sees him, who doesn’t feel immense guilt at the sight of his smile and the sound of his laughter. </p><p>Then he brings himself to leave, to hop off the train without his darling child, and walk out of the station without looking back.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t know where that train is headed, but it’s for the best, and he can’t bring himself to care as the wind pushes him around angrily and howls at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Jeonghan :(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Price</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jeonghan pays what's due.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“When I open my eyes in bed, I still haven’t come out of my gravity defying dream. Is it morning? Is it night? I don’t even know. I wash away the haziness at the sink, but everything stays the same.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Can’t See the End (끝이 안보여) by Seventeen</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been five years, but Jeonghan still cooks enough for two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The portrait of him that Soonyoung made from mud still hangs in the living room, and his tiger plushie has found a permanent spot on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More and more, he finds himself missing his child, sometimes hearing the thundering sound of tiny footsteps, or the occasional call of his name, that always turns out to be everything but</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>He remembers the look on his face when he gave him his favorite jacket, rubbing a small pudgy hand over his name embroidered on the pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of all, he misses the way Soonyoung would run to him, the way half of his food always made it onto his face somehow, and when he’d pretend to be a tiger, curling his hands and growling as he chased Jeonghan around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wonders what ten-year-old Soonyoung looks like. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is he still chubby? Do his eyes still scrunch up when he smiles? Does he have the same appetite, or maybe he eats less? How are his fevers? Does he remember anything?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Perhaps he shouldn't have sent him away?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, it was for the best, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he reassures himself, and can’t do anything except wallow in his loneliness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's a day later that Jeonghan finally discovers the price he’s paid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd always known that breaking the natural laws of the world would place him in the merciless hands of the universe, and he promised himself he'd welcome what it gave him, whether it be death, or some kind of agonizing pain, but he never expected what came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, he’s looking at himself in the mirror, running his hands through his messy locks of hair, when he realizes he doesn’t have any white hairs. </span>
  <span>Child rearing <em>is </em>pretty stressful, so some silver strands are to be expected, but as he pulls on his hair to check, he doesn’t find any. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs his hands down his face, searching for wrinkles, and to his horror, he realizes he still looks like the man he was a decade ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeonghan loses the strength in his knees and wobbles, gripping the sink for support. Kneeling down onto the floor, he covers his mouth with his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m…not aging.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bows his head and lets out a sob of rage and anguish, shaking in fury, because it means he’ll never be with his Soonyoung again, and that he has to live long after his son leaves this world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cries, angry tears scalding his face as he folds into himself, the empty place in his heart suddenly so much bigger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes him a while to get over his anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when he does, it’s replaced by an emptiness. </span>
  <span>When you’re immortal, nothing seems to matter anymore. </span>
  <span>Not the taste of the food you eat, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or the content you feel after a nap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spends three years like this, </span>
  <span>staying up late and waking up early, eats a meal a day, if he even can, and waits listlessly for the end of the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One particular night, he starts to feel the toll his new routine is taking on him, and settles in for bed. His eyelids shut, but open again in an instant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Thank You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jeonghan heals.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't own parts of the dialogue, I borrowed lyrics from Seventeen's Thanks!</p>
<p>some cursing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “Thank you.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> -Thanks (고맙다) by Seventeen </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Jeonghan sees a familiar field of golden wheat, waving at him like they’re celebrating his return, and he sits up. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> This time, Soonyoung is beside him, his black hair a stark contrast against the sea of yellow. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Hello Jeonghan.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But Jeonghan doesn’t make a move, just stares at him like he can’t believe Soonyoung is there. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> He pouts at this, and takes a seat. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Would it be in poor taste to say ‘I told you so?’”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Soonyoung raises an eyebrow and grins cheekily, and Jeonghan, for the first time in 8 years, feels a little piece of himself return. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Hey Soonyoung,” he says weakly, turning to stare at the lake in front of them. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> There’s a pause in his movement, but he continues nonetheless.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “Jeonghan,” he says softly, “Why did you send the kid away?” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> He shows no sign of responding, staying very still, eyes trained on the expanse of blue.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> They sit there, side by side in the serene silence, before Jeonghan feels a hand cover his own. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Hannie,” he calls gently, and Jeonghan feels like he’s fourteen again, meeting a soft and bright Soonyoung for the first time, a boy who deserved anyone but him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> He ponders over the question for a bit. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “I…I couldn’t let him hate himself because of me.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> He feels something catch in the back of his throat, remembering the guilt he felt so long ago, and the guilt he feels now. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I just, I don't know, I just thought he’d be much better off without me…around.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “That’s bullshit.” </em>
</p>
<p><em> Jeonghan fixes his eyes on Soonyoung, because he sounds mad, and Soonyoung is </em> never <em> mad. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “Complete crap. Why can’t you understand that you made him happy? Even when we were young, you always thought you didn’t deserve me, you pulled away!” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Because I didn’t, I still don’t.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Shut the fuck up!” Soonyoung’s eyes are glossy and angry, and Jeonghan thinks ‘Oh no, I’ve messed up again.’  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> But what he hears next surprises him. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> “You were all I ever wanted, in this life and the next! I gave you everything I had, and I know you gave me your everything too. We’ve walked the same path since we were young, and </em> <em>ever since the first day I saw you until now, in my heart, it’s always only been you. </em> <em>I never realized how happy I could be...until I met you.” </em></p>
<p>
  <em>Soonyoung’s tears spill at the end, and Jeonghan can feel himself falter too.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“Me too,” he sobs, “I’m sorry I’ve been so pathetic. </em> <em>I couldn’t express my feelings properly because I was too young</em> <em>, but…I think I’m ready to tell you now.” </em></p>
<p>
  <em>Jeonghan takes a deep breath and grasps both of Soonyoung’s hands, letting the words he should’ve said long, long ago spill out.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“</em><em>Thank you,</em><em>” he says, his voice shaky.</em> <em>“</em><em>Thank you, that’s all I can say. For all the waiting, the longing, and all of our memories, thank you. </em><em>I couldn’t say these things back then, because they seemed…too simple to describe how I felt about you, but now I know, and I hope that </em><em>these typical words reach you.</em><em>”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Soonyoung sobs and laughs at the same time, and it encourages him to continue.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“</em> <em>These feelings- our feelings, won’t change, they won’t ever change, even if you erase me</em><em>, or if you leave me forever. </em> <em>Because we’re engraved in each other’s hearts.</em><em>”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Soonyoung bows his head and nods, biting his lip and holding Jeonghan’s hands tightly, intertwining their fingers.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Jeonghan chokes on a sob, and clears his throat to finish.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“Soonyoung, </em> <em>how to wait and what love is, you taught me it all</em><em>. </em> <em>Thank you.</em><em>”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Jeonghan lets go of those soft hands to cup his face. He brushes his bangs lovingly, rubs his ears, wipes the tears out of his starry eyes, and presses a kiss to his cheek. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you, Soonyoung.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you,” Soonyoung wheezes out, voice hoarse, and Jeonghan can’t help but chuckle, lifting the face that makes up his universe to kiss it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Make sure you love our son too, ‘kay?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Jeonghan nods.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I promise.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Soonyoung puts his hands over Jeonghan’s, and leans in to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Planets shift and galaxies explode into a stardust of their love when they meet, and they share a feeling that transcends all else.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jeonghan wakes up, sunlight streaming into the room, and he smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Over the next few days, he cleans himself up, tries to be someone who deserves Soonyoung’s love.</p>
<p>He takes it slow, eating three meals a day, takes as many naps as he wants, and bathes in the sun. It’s difficult, but he finds himself wanting to try. For Soonyoung, for his son, but most of all, for himself.</p>
<p>One afternoon, while reading a book, someone knocks on his door.</p>
<p><em>How strange, </em>he thinks, because no one really knows where he lives, and even if they did, they wouldn’t bother him. He sits up and gets off the couch, turning the door handle and opening the door. </p>
<p>Jeonghan takes a step back and drops his book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before him is his son, but an older, awkward looking version of him. The boy spares a glance, before averting his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um, are you <em>Jeonghan?</em>” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All at once, his memories of them, crying, shouting, laughing, playing, return in full force, and he trembles, holding back a sob.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...Yes?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I…” he pauses, and then looks Jeonghan straight in the eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to teach me magic! Please!” </p>
<p>At this, he bows deeply, and stays there.</p>
<p>Jeonghan stares at him, because he can’t believe the child he sent away so long ago found his way back to him.</p>
<p>But then he softens, offers him a gentle smile.</p>
<p>“Of course, young man.”</p>
<p>Soonyoung looks up in disbelief before his face squishes into a grin, and then Jeonghan <em>really</em> wants to cry, right then and there, because even after all these years, his smile is still the same.</p>
<p>He moves to let him through the door.</p>
<p>“...What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Oh! Right, haha...” He scratches the back of his head shyly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s Soonyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s very nice to meet you Soonyoung.”</p>
<p>Jeonghan shuts the door behind him and proceeds to give him a tour of the house, which feels strange, but he does it anyway. He shows Soonyoung to his old bedroom, and sees his eyes light up in <em>10:10 </em>delight.</p>
<p>When he closes the door behind him, he smiles to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Welcome home, Soonyoung.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! Thank you for reading until the end. Writing this was such an experience, and I had fun coming up with ideas and getting to share them with others! I think my writing here was a bit simpler than in Can You Sit By My Side? but I hope you enjoyed it all the same.</p>
<p>I'll probably be taking a short break from writing for now, but I have a load of prompts I really would love to start! I hope you're all doing well, please take care of yourselves everyone!</p>
<p>I feel like the lyrics we're a little bit cheesy but it was fun to write in :D</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry, i love angst</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>